Jun 4 / Diana Dentinger

What are the 3 Vital Things You must Give Yourself? (but it's not about buying presents)

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What do you think abut when you hear “give yourself” something? Could it be “give yourself a break”, “give yourself some time”, “give yourself some tender loving care /TLC)”? Or do you think about shopping and buying something?

Maybe you reward or spoil yourself after you reach a milestone or achievement. Is it something valuable, a trip, a new car? Is it something you need, like replacing your phone because you want one with more memory and a better camera? Or is something that you don’t need but want as a treat like a special vacation.
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Imagine not needing to “shop around” to look for what to give yourself. Sure, without treating yourself to things, life might be a bit boring, but if you haven’t given yourself these 3 vital things, you might just be wasting time, money and energy on the rest.

For a moment, take yourself out of the picture and imagine what you would really want to give a child. If you are a parent, you most likely want to give them the best. You might imagine "the best" starts with giving food, shelter, protection, education, manners, values, experiences or opportunities.

But what I am talking about is less about the tangible things in life. For the past 30 years I have been in the Personal & Professional Development Industry as well as raised 4 children, pretty much as a single parent, living in a foreign country. I have seen that these 3 vital things are important in not just giving my children, but even in coaching adults of all ages, social and economic conditions. You might have never thought about giving yourself these, but afterwards will see how they are the foundations for everything else.

1. Give yourself a “Sense of Person”.

What do you think of when you hear "it makes sense"? That it is logical, right? And maybe not just rational, but that it feels good too.

So the first vital thing you must give yourself is a "Sense of Person". This means that you, as a person, with a personality,  deeply know who you are. You need a clear Identity, just as you need a name. And part of this is in your Personality which contains all the tools and talents that you use to create your life as well as fix things if they are not going well.

How do you describe yourself? Take a moment and jot down your top 10 talents. Are the words juicy and emotionally moving. Writing that you are "determined, nice, kind, etc" are a bit vague and here is why. 
Years ago when I conducted more Corporate Trainings and Team Building Seminars, I would ask all the participants these same questions and to share their answers with the person next to them.

What I would find almost 100% of the time, is that most of the adults couldn’t describe themselves confidently with 10 positive adjectives. Either they were not aware of them on a conscious level or they didn’t have the vocabulary. Then when it came to saying the words out loud,  most of them were embarrassed to share as if it were top secret.
My mini research concluded, sad as it sounds, that too many adults simply don’t know who they are. They don't have a "Sense of Person".  How about you? Do you just go through the motions on the hamster wheel of life? Or do you ever  get confused thinking you are your "roles" (wife, mother, job title or degree).

We are in times of rapid change and unrest. So now more than ever it is vital for you to know yourself, be yourself and act coherently with who you really are. This supplies you with the confidence you need to bounce back when things get tough. From what I see and hear, so many people are feeling lost.  And I feel this is because they lack a soldi "Sense of Person". To find out about your innate Personality take a FREE QUIZ HERE.

As human beings, we all, somewhere in our mind and at sometime in our lives will ask ourselves “Who am I”? Philosophers dedicated their lives to finding answers to this troublesome human enigma. The simplest, yet most profound question / answer of all times is: “To be, or not to be”. So who are you? Discover it by getting your Complete Personality Profile in the BEST YOU YET Course. It is fun to have a vocabulary of rich descriptive words that move you to be your best. 

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2. Give yourself a "Sense of Purpose".

But as humans we also ask ourselves: “Why am I here?” So the second most important thing to give to yourself is a “Sense of Purpose”.
To have energy and vitally, you need to feel that your presence, that you being here makes a difference. Your purpose is not to just fulfill the basic Universal Human Needs like having shelter, a job, money and belonging to a group.

Did you grow up in a family that talked about improving yourself so you positively impact others? Have you ever asked yourself the question of why you are here? In that "sense" or logic, your “purpose” is to give who you are - as a person - to use your talents to help others, create joy and solve problems.
But the deeper “Sense of Purpose” is more innate than you can imagine. It is unique to you. It is your project. Let’s use a different kind of example so you get this easier. It has nothing to do with spirituality or religion, believing or even not believing in anything else.

It has to do with the nature of creativity. Any creative process begins with a problem. Without a “problem” or desire for improvement, people do not think about or take action on something. Let's use a real problem so you can see what this "Sense of Purpose" is all about in practical terms. 

Years ago there was the problem that houses often burned down and people died because they could not get out in time. The problem made people think about how to solve it. Out of the problem came many creative solutions. So when you formulate the "Sense of the fire extinguisher" or the "Sense of smoke alarms" is to prevent or put out house fires. It is the same for you when you formulate your "Sense of Purpose". The sense of your life is to be the solution to certain issues when you give the best of who you are.

I have seen it in all my clients, that they dedicate their life unconsciously to an issue that later they discover is closely  connected to their "Sense of Purpose". And when they become aware of it, their life becomes so much more meaningful. One example was a woman, a head gynaecologist, who remembered through Coaching that her great grandmother died giving birth to her grandmother. In a certain “sense” the problem she "solved" was keeping women from dying while delivering babies. From a professional perspective, the “Sense of Purpose” of why she became a doctor originated from a problem generations ago. And that is how it is for everyone. Discover your Real Life Purpose in this FREE QUIZ (different than the Personality Quiz).

A lot of my clients are in their 40’s and come to me because they feel "empty". We could even call it “mid-life crisis”. It is an age in which you start asking yourself questions about who you are and why you are here. You have dedicated so many years in a 9-5 job or role but you know you have so much more inside to express. And that leads us to the three vital thing.
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3. Give yourself a "Sense of Potential".

Finally the third thing: Give yourself a “Sense of Potential”. You can feel your gifts, strengths, qualities and talents. You know they are there but
maybe just don’t know how to access them.

Now more than ever we are living in a disposable society in which we throw away so much. We live in an instant gratification society too. We want things fast and easy. It seems that fewer people today are willing to work at something to get better. People waste their potential because it takes time to practice to be and do better. Take the example of doping that goes on in sports as compared to hard work.

Inner knowing is innate but we are not taught how to tune into ourselves so we aren't clear on our Personality, Purpose nor greater Potential. Just as a baby "knows" not to be complacent to lay on her back but rather to sit, crawl, walk and run, it is the same with you. Inside you know there is more to express. But because you don't have a clear "Sense of Person" you might tune into other people, following what they do or comparing yourself to them. 

Life doesn’t make much sense unless you are living your sense of person, purpose and potential. So if it ever happens that you feel powerless or that things don’t make sense, go back and find answers to each of these: who are you, why are you here and what more can you be. We are here to help you with those in the BEST YOU YET Course that comes with your Complete Personality Profile. It is fun, and the funnest thing it to be you.  

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Meet the CREATOR & FOUNDER

Diana Dentinger

If you meet me in person you will notice I have tons of energy. I have intuitively known my purpose ever since I was a kid in a huge family, wanting to figure out what made all my 250 blood relatives different from each other. This was the beginning of my search to find these answers.
For my Methodology I was Awarded Top 100 World Women Achievers 2018 called "A Woman of Substance" for the Creation of the Your Life Your Way™ Profile & Coaching, fruit of 20 years of rigorous research, study with top European Behaviour Experts and completion of my education as a Neurobiology therapist for Psychosomatic Illnesses. At heart, I am a Science nerd. 
I am a trendsetter, differentiating myself from traditional Corporate Trainers and Coaches, bringing lightness, play and metaphor creation into Strategic Success Planning as well as profound Science & Spirituality. I've been doing this in the Personal & Professional Development Industry since the end of the 1980's living in Italy raising my 4 children.
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Well, first let me share the hard way. This includes setting aside a little time each month, or even each week, to reflect and look at the big picture of your life and what you really want. 
And spending this time reflecting on what you’ve gotten accomplished this past week and how it has helped you move forward in the direction of your goals. Or spending time, say at New Years, and setting resolutions of things you commit to changing, such as losing weight or saving money or spending more time with loved ones.
But there’s a big problem with this way. And I say this based on my over 25 years of Corporate Training and Coaching experience. First off most people aren’t really sure about their direction in life. Most people are only used to doing what they have seen other people do on a "one size fits all" path of going to school, graduating, getting a job, finding a spouse, getting married or living together, having kids and..."not so happy" ever after. 

In other words, your lists are a way to simplify a busy life, but there are hidden "dangers".

They are tactical things to combat overwhelm.
While these tools are certainly necessary and helpful, they also hold a hidden danger. They make you focus too much on the “what” at the risk of losing track of the “why”. The “why” is the strategic part. It’s why you are doing the tasks. Why is what fills your heart with joy every step of the way.
Here’s what I mean. It’s hard to see the big picture and make sure you are following your Life Purpose. Let's say you forget the big reason you are here. Especially when you’re staring at an endless list of things to do. There is little joy in that moment, except the adrenaline rush of continuing to be busy.
But there’s an easy way to fix that while still being able to use all those tools to organize your time and to dos. Are you ready for the easy way to do it?
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