Mar 23 / Diana Dentinger

An Eye Opening 3 Step Approach on how to Solve Your Struggle with Procrastination

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Today let’s talk about procrastination. Or should we talk about tomorrow? No pun intended when we look at the etymology of the word. Procrastination is from Latin and "Pro" means forward and "Crastinus" means tomorrow. So procrastination is just forwarding things, putting them forward to do tomorrow. Sounds like no big deal, right? But if this becomes a habit for important things then you find yourself over time demotivated and de-energised.
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Usually we procrastinate on things that are less pleasant, possibly less urgent or simply boring to do. Yet if they are “to do” then we might be in the habit of needing to "feel the pain"of urgency before deciding to get them done.

Well, today I'd like to give you these three ways to end this cycle of putting things off. At least you will become more conscious if you are really procrastinating and therefore being less effective or actually tapping into a feeling that there might be a “better time” to do them in an upcoming “tomorrow”.
This is going to be a whole different take on procrastination that you will not find in some wiki how article. And it follows something I feel is true about how Einstein said that "you can't solve a problem on the same level of consciousness as that level on which the problem was created". Let's apply this to your procrastination habit and take your consciousness to a whole different level, a whole different perspective, to something refreshing. 

A few simple reasons why you might want to overcome procrastination is because you want to feel more productive, even responsible and capable. So when you get things done, you feel a boost of self confidence that helps you in every area of life. You feel like you have more energy.

But instead, when you put things, you notice how it drains your energy, especially your mental energy because you have these distracting, annoying and “nagging” thoughts telling you to get this "other thing" done, that you are procrastinating on, which is why you can't effectively focus you what you currently are doing. 

1. Befriend "time" instead of battling with it.

Tip Number 1: So the first way to stop the struggle with procrastination is to first change how you talk about it. I call this tip “befriending time” and becoming a buddy of procrastination. The “concept of time” is in the overall recipe of getting things done. You can measure how much time it takes to get ready in the morning, to drive places, to do your laundry or finish a work project . And usually when you evaluate the amount of time it takes, you categorise it on a scale from bad to great, unacceptable to acceptable. 

I'll tie these three tips together at the very end. But for now, just understand that you, not the task, are creating tension, emotionally and mentally, by judging time. By affirming that you do not having enough of it or that something is taking too much of it. And then by judging your "putting of doing it" with the consequent possible feelings of guilty or frustration.

What springs out of the attitude, or the  judgement of not enough or too much, is the desire to battle time (as a concept or a thing) so you set out to defeat, tackle or crush it. You adopt a "power over" approach. And you decided that you need to be the more powerful one.

I am sure you have heard those "competitive" type words before. They can all be grouped into a category of fighting and, this is really not to your benefit. Your Nervous System along with your Endocrine System, commanded by your brain set you into fight or flight mode. Your adrenaline consumption increases and other stuff that is not great for your health or happiness.

So the reason why I say to “befriend, both time and procrastination” is to be relaxed with those concepts, be relaxed with the relationship that you have with them and are creating with them. It really should not be a struggle.
How often do you say to yourself that "time is on your side"?
Diana Dentinger

2. Find or define the meaning of the task.

Tip Number 2: The second approach to ending your struggle with procrastination, or putting things off, is to find the real meaning in the task that you are putting off.

So when you look at all the things that you want to or have to do you, ask yourself why they are important as a priority, first from a practical perspective  and then also why they are important from an emotional perspective.

Here's a bit of philosophy, the purpose of life, the why, is to live and with that to also realise yourself through being and doing. So how you dedicate your time should be related to how you realise yourself in the bigger picture. If you don’t ask yourself "why" you need to or want to do a “task” and "why" it is important to your daily life or future realisation, then you lack the meaning.  

Meaning is actually the "motor" for having more energy. When things make sense, rationally and emotionally, then you are motivated to do them. Without stating to yourself the meaning, then the task and "time" (procrastinating) tend to become more “powerful” than you in that thinking about doing, but not doing, drains your energy. And when you feel these things (task and time) are winning against you, then of course you see them as an enemy that you have to defeat. 
So right now, think of a task that you have been putting off. It could be paying the bills or running errands or exercising. Then think about what is meaningful in doing it. Take the example of paying a heating bill. You could think about how happy you are to have a warm, cozy home in the winter. This "meaning" brings you “closer” to getting it done. Instead if you complain about how high the price is or “fight” the company's policies… well, feel inside of yourself, right now, whether you are full of tension or relaxed about paying a bill.

Experiment creating different thoughts about the meaning of why it is important (but not even from a burden perspective) so you lighten up and get "closer" to the task and time. Answering the question “why is this meaningful for me and my life” is what empowers you about doing that certain task. But it could even be “why is this task important to someone else?”

You might call this second tip finding the purpose, the reason why you're even doing that task in the first place. With this way of gaining perspective, you might find that you can take some things off your to do lists because they're not “taking you or others anywhere”. 
They're not meaningful.

Maybe you just learned they were “have to do’s” but for your lifestyle now they are insignificant. For example, I have lived in Italy for over 30 years. Here the women my age and older are “used to” ironing everything… I mean even socks and underwear. Very few people use dryers so they think that ironing stuff makes it softer. Well, I sure wasn’t raised that way so it made no sense to me. I could never be motivated to iron 
everything I wash. I just used a softer detergent like Marseille soap. As a side note, this is not about judging what others do that works for them. It is about living your life, the time you have, in a way to feel realised and satisfied every day. 

But there are so many things we think we should do because we saw others doing them and these tasks fit into the category of what socially becomes how you are defined as a "good person". It is vital to your happiness to define this for yourself.  
What helps you to better “find the meaning” of your tasks, is being connected to your overall "why” or life purpose. Here at Your Life Your Way Academy, you can enrol in a course like the BEST YOU YET, that includes your complete Personality Profile and Masterclass Trainings on just this. Knowing yourself in this depth allows you at the start to discern between projects that are distractions from those that are life fulfilling. 

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3. Focus on what is priority for more "fire".

Tip Number 3: This approach is less about becoming a productivity machine and more about living a life that fits who you are. So when you find the meaning, then this actually leads you to the third way of focusing on what is priority. 

Focus comes from the word “fuoco”, which means fire. It has a lot more to do with desire and the life force energy which you put towards doing a task than concentration on one thing like the focal point in the lens of a camera.

Look at it this way. If you are multitasking, this means that the focus is less because the amount of energy, or fire, that you put into all these things at the same time actually diminishes. You have one fire that you divide into smaller fires that give off less heat and light. So the amount of energy is less the more you do at the same time. 

Women's brains are wired to be able to interconnect actions and resulting reactions across many areas of life. If a woman thinks about changing her job, at the same time, her brain is connecting to or "thinking" about how this change will affect her, her family life, her friendships, her free time, her health, her finances etc. This is not multitasking. 

You will see how women can neurologically do more things at one time. I have 4 kids and have been able to breastfeed one child in my arms, while spoon feeding another in a high chair while cooking pasta for the older ones and talking on the phone all at the same time. That was out of necessity around dinner time.  

But looking back I realize that being present is another thing. So when you put your one fire into one thing (just feeding one child at a time) then that is when you're focused, which means you're lit up, you've got the energy, and the other person feels that energy and chances are, you’ll probably get it done faster, more effectively and with better results. 

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Let's tie all this together...

Here is how we tie these together. This is about ending your struggle with procrastination. So picture a triangle or draw one. It has 3 sides and 3 angles. In the center of the triangle write the word “task”. So you want to come towards the task from each of these 3 perspectives. In each of the angles write one of these 3 words: you, time, procrastination.  

The “you” angle it is about your relationship with the task and how it is meaningful (or not meaningful) for you. This might require some thinking through. Personally, I am not fond of cooking. But having a big family and children, I know how important it is for them to eat healthy, home cooked meals. And choosing this “meaning” has given me more positive energy to cook for all these years. So asking yourself, for you, why something is important for you, or for someone else in your life, is what this angle is about. You, your meaning, in relationship with the task.

In the second angle you write the word “time”. So when I suggest for you to “befriend time” you have a lighter attitude and can easily say “wow, time is on my side”. And then you get into the meaning of the task. And you're like: “Wow, I will find the time. Time is always enough. Thank you time. Maybe the time is now.”

When you say these things, how do you feel? Motivated, hopeful, excited? Or does something not quite feel "right”?

In those phrases I am personifying time as if it is a person you are doing something with. Or you could think of “time” as an energy source. When you change your perspective of time being on your side, it's more probable that you and time collaborate to complete the task. 

Now, in the last angle you have the word “procrastination”. Just as time is a concept, so is procrastination, right? It means different things to different people. Overall it means to put something off, but why you do this is specific to your needs, desires and also fears. You might put off paying a bill because you fear to look at your bank account because you know you overspent this month. We all have fears. This gets back to though you and your relationship with the task. 

As before when you befriended time, you also want to befriend procrastination. You might say or think to yourself something like: “Does it feel right for me to do the task now or today? Could there be a reason why I am putting this off? Can I just not see this reason now? Are you, Procrastination (like saying a person’s name), preferring I do this tomorrow?”

Take a moment to reflect on this. 

Take a moment now to look back in your life. Has it ever happened that you put off doing something, and thank goodness, because actually you had more energy later, or you found better and more effectively ways of doing that task? On that day, referring to the 3 angles to “getting it done”, can you see how they worked well together and you had more confidence and trust in yourself?

Because when you have a more peaceful approach on what there is to do, then you might find that people come into your experience, out of the blue, to support the completion of the task. Instead with the frustration and tension, they might hesitate to help. Or worse, they might help because they feel you are a “victim”. In the long run, you don't want people to pity you. It is disempowering for everyone. Sure, I could have used some help when my kids were younger, but having lots to do gave me the opportunity to evaluate which things were the most important. For a while my older kids and their friends called me the "frozen food mom" since that was the best solution to feeding the older ones so I could spend more time at the park with the younger ones.

You need to get creative, especially when it comes to finding solutions to using your time in a fulfilling way.

Have you ever put things off and it created problems? Sure remember those times too? Reflect on your personal "time -task-procrastination" related things. Then be honest with yourself. Find what works best for you.

This is my interpretation of Einstein’s suggestion to take things to a different level of learning, awareness and consciousness. If you’re low on energy, possibly brow beating yourself about the task, not feeling like you have enough time or that procrastination is the enemy, you're really doing harm to your self, to your productivity, to your energy level, to your mood, to your attitude on life.
To recap, when you stop judging yourself for putting off the unpleasant because you befriend time and procrastination, it builds collaboration. You find the meaning of the task and this is how the fire comes, the energy comes, the desire comes to complete the task. You feel empowered, that you're in charge of your life, that you're in control of what you're doing and how you're doing it. You are focused!
And then this creates the energy frequency and vibration to become more productive. So the sooner you shift your perspective and languaging away from fighting or defeating, the sooner you find that peace inside. It is not about giving yourself an excuse, nor allowing yourself to be “lazy” or irresponsible. You are simply more relaxed about time and the task. 
I hope you enjoyed this perspective and use this approach to live happier every day.

As a recommendation, to help you find clearer answers about what is most meaningful to you, get your complete Personality Profile in the BEST YOU YET Course. It is a life changing, positive experience to gain the clarity and confidence to get out there and do what you are here to with your life. See you there. 

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Diana Dentinger

If you meet me in person you will notice I have tons of energy. I have intuitively known my purpose ever since I was a kid in a huge family, wanting to figure out what made all my 250 relatives different from each other. This was the beginning of my search to find these answers.

For my Methodology I was Awarded Top 100 World Women Achievers 2018 called "A Woman of Substance" for the Creation of the Your Life Your Way™ Profile & Coaching, fruit of 20 years of rigorous research, study with top European Behaviour Experts and completion of my education as a Neurobiology therapist for Psychosomatic Illnesses.

I am a trendsetter, differentiating myself from traditional Corporate Trainers and Coaches, bringing lightness, play and metaphor creation into Strategic Success Planning as well as profound Science & Spirituality. I've been doing this in the Personal & Professional Development Industry since the end of the 1980's living in Italy raising my 4 children.
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